Naked face

Eyes wide..impatient she paces watching the heavens above and waiting.. the darkness slashed by fire..the loud thunder as music to her ears..a smile widens to caress to soothe or to hide.. does it matter? the moment of heavenly fury or maybe absolution showers over her the first drops that touch the skin, her eyes lower down hands spread wide reaching out to touch. Like a child she circles trying to hug this presense as close to her..like the blood in her veins watching the earth dancing as though its long waited lover have run a finger through her spine looking up to the sky for a glimpse for a likeness to this feeling. Alas the bliss over in a moment too soon as her lover recedes..she stands looking up driping down preparing her heart to wait till the next time.

The line between right and wrong so thin...so hazy same sides of a coin..when does it change our perspective? When does our mind move towards that depth... silent stormy grey neither here nor there. Silent whispers that we drown with closed eyes and a soft smile.. ever vengeful returning to haunt us in our broken dreams. Eyes open we move slowly into this shimmering silver fog never knowing that we have finally reached over into the path once forbidden but now lines blurred..

This budding sense of unease, the ever changing shades around me. Everwatching as the autumn leaves fall to the ground leaving a desolate picture behind vibrant hues everchanging to the murkiest of grey.. How do i catch up.. how much more do i need to run to find solace within myself? Everything that was once familiar to me seems just a shadow of my emotions to find that my own home is within me.

 A moment in time, out of all the randomness sparks a connection.    A single flame burning within spreading over as a slow fire... the embers ever fiery red. To give in or not was never a choice... destined  to touch the heart of the ember and be one with the flame.  Paving a path through this darkness to a beautiful dream ...overlooked and forgotten  over time. Searching through all these years to this moment ... to stand naked to my soul knowing i am accepted.  To touch you is to touch  myself... my image in everyway.

In circles and circles i walk every inch of space so similiar, every new version of me that shines at the new begining  so familiar. Where is the door.. the hope of a path to finally be free from all that is holding me here, the space that  i have searched as diligently like a newborn leaning towards the mothers warmth. Each time as I rise from the ashes of  my demons who plagued my waking moments.. so triumphant, so ecstatic looking towards the new dawn only to realize I am  still caught in the web of my making and everything was just a dream..beautiful but out of my reach.

At times I feel i am at the height of happiness looking down on everyone else in contempt... myself loved and cherished and blanketed in love so far seperated from all... And yet so soon I drown in the dark shadows surrounding me.. drowning me in the doubts of what I felt just moments before. Was I wrong? Did I judge others in those earlier moments so harshly? How can someone who makes you feel all the warmth in the world spreading through your veins make you feel within moments like a replaceable piece of stone overlooked and forgotten.